A woman on a skyscraper patio gazes at the city below. The city's vastness represents a new life's possibilities after an abusive relationship.

Reclaiming Your Power: How to Move On After an Abusive Relationship

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No one deserves to be abused, harmed, or hurt, especially by the loved ones closest to them. If you have been in an abusive personal relationship, it can be an extremely traumatic experience.

Making sense of what happened and finding the best way forward is no simple feat. However, many survivors of intimate personal violence, domestic violence, and emotional abuse find that in time, the memories of past traumatic events become the foundations of new sources of inner strength and transformation.

Achieving this takes time, dedication, and sometimes, the compassionate support of professionals.

Forgive yourself for complex feelings after an abusive relationship

It is very common to find emotions such as guilt, shame, doubt, or remorse coming up in the days, weeks, months, or even years after an abusive relationship. Though these feelings are typical, they are not things that have to weigh you down.

Emotional, psychological, and physical abuse can damage our sense of self. This can lead to challenging cascades of emotions as memories of past traumas come to the surface to be re-experienced, again and again.

Breaking this cycle begins with forgiveness.

Create new and more stable anchor points

Healing an abusive relationship is about coming to terms with the past. It also requires setting the right foundations for the future. Anchor points are a way of thinking about the things in our lives that give us strength.

For some people, starting new activities such as athletic training, or educational programs could serve as valuable sources of strength in the time following an abusive relationship. Others will rely on the support of friends, family, or a professional therapist.

Most everyone who is trying to move on from a past abusive relationship will find that they enjoy affirming their connection to anchor points which bring strength and security to their lives.

Take the time you need to recover from an abusive relationship

The healing process is different for everyone following an abusive personal relationship. While some people might move on with their lives quickly, others will need to move at a slower, and more considerate pace. The key is not to rush, or try to force yourself.

The most important thing right now is that you listen to your inner guidance.

SonderMind is here to help

Whenever you are ready, SonderMind is here to help you move on from your abusive relationship. Establish new anchor points of safety and security in the comfort of therapeutic sessions with a trained professional specializing in trauma and relationship issues. Learn how SonderMind can connect you with a therapist who is right for you.

Last Updated:
First Published:
October 29, 2019
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