Questions to Ask Before Therapy

If you’re starting therapy or returning after time away, it’s normal to feel nervous about what to say. Clear communication plays a major role in how effective therapy can be, and being prepared helps you make the most of each session. Having questions in mind can help you stay focused, ease anxiety, and feel more confident speaking openly.

Therapy works best when it’s collaborative. Asking the right questions helps you understand the process, feel more at ease, and decide whether the therapist you’re seeing is the right fit for you.

Why asking questions matters

Therapy is not something that happens to you. It’s a shared process where your input shapes how sessions unfold. Asking questions helps clarify expectations, builds trust, and gives you a better understanding of how therapy supports your goals.

Questions also play an important role early on, when you’re still getting oriented. Therapy is a two-way relationship, and while your therapist is learning about you, you’re also learning about them. Asking questions during this stage can help reduce uncertainty and give you a clearer sense of how a therapist’s communication style, approach, and experience land with you.

As sessions continue, questions can help you feel more grounded and engaged in the process. Checking in about what’s working, what feels unclear, and what you want more of can help you decide whether continuing together feels right. You are an equal partner in the process, and asking questions is one way to stay actively involved in your care.

Questions to ask your therapist at the beginning of therapy

Early sessions are a chance to understand how therapy will work and what you can expect from the process. These conversations can help you feel more oriented, set clear expectations, and get a sense of whether the fit feels right. Questions to explore early on include:

• What is your approach to therapy?
• What experience do you have with concerns like mine?
• How often do you usually recommend sessions?
• What does progress tend to look like in your work with clients?
• How do you handle feedback if something isn’t helping?

Questions to ask your therapist about goals and progress

Goals give therapy direction, but they aren’t fixed. Checking in on progress helps you understand how therapy is supporting you over time and whether adjustments are needed as your needs change. Helpful questions include:

• What goals are we currently working toward?
• How will we know if therapy is helping?
• What kinds of changes should I notice first?
• How do you track progress over time?

Questions to ask your therapist about what happens between sessions

Therapy doesn’t stop when the session ends. Many people wonder how to carry insights, skills, or conversations into daily life. Asking about this can make therapy feel more practical and connected to what you’re experiencing outside the office. Questions in this area might include:

• Is there anything I should be practicing or reflecting on between sessions?
• How can I use what we talk about when I feel overwhelmed?
• Should I be writing things down or noticing patterns?

Questions to ask your therapist about treatment approaches

Therapists draw from different methods depending on their training and your goals. Understanding why a particular approach is being used can help you feel more informed and engaged in the process. If something is unclear, it’s appropriate to ask:

• What therapy methods do you use most often?
• How does this approach help with what I’m experiencing?
• Why are you recommending this technique?

Questions to ask your therapist if your goals change

Life circumstances can shift priorities, and therapy goals often shift with them. Talking openly about changes helps keep therapy responsive rather than rigid. Questions that can guide those conversations include:

• Can we revisit my goals?
• Is it okay to change what we’re working on?
• How do you adapt therapy when someone’s needs shift?

Questions to ask your therapist about challenges or concerns in therapy

If something in therapy feels confusing, uncomfortable, or unhelpful, raising it can strengthen the work you’re doing together. These conversations can lead to adjustments that better support you. Questions you might raise include:

• Can we talk about something that didn’t sit right with me?
• I’m not sure this approach is helping. Can we adjust?
• What’s the best way to bring up concerns in our sessions?

Questions to ask your therapist  about the therapist-client relationship

The way you and your therapist communicate plays a major role in how therapy feels. Asking about the relationship itself can help build trust and prevent misunderstandings over time. Questions that support clarity include:

• What should I do if I feel misunderstood?
• How do we handle disagreements or confusion?
• What boundaries should I be aware of in therapy?

Questions to ask your therapist  about ending or pausing therapy

Feeling better or reaching certain goals can bring up questions about what comes next. Ending or pausing therapy is often a collaborative decision rather than a sudden one. Questions that can help guide that conversation include:

• How will we know when it’s time to pause or end therapy?
• What does a healthy ending look like?
• Can I return to therapy later if I need support?

It’s okay to bring notes to therapy

There’s a lot to think about when preparing for therapy, and questions don’t always come up all at once. When emotions are involved, it can be hard to remember everything you want to talk about during a session.

There’s no expectation to come in with a script or a prepared list of questions. Some people prefer to speak freely and see what comes up in the moment, and that can work just as well.

For others, notes can be a helpful option. Having something written down can give you a place to return to if it’s hard to organize your thoughts during a session. Notes can be handwritten or typed, kept as a running list or written shortly before a session, and therapists are generally comfortable with whatever helps you communicate clearly.

Making the most of your therapy sessions

Therapy doesn’t require perfect questions or perfect timing. What matters most is showing up and staying engaged in the process. Whether you bring a few questions, written notes, or simply a willingness to talk things through, each session is an opportunity to better understand what you need and what helps you move forward.

It’s also okay if the connection doesn’t feel right right away. You’re not locked into a therapist long term, and finding the right fit can take time. If it doesn’t feel like a good match, you can always explore working with someone else. 

Over time, asking questions can become a natural part of therapy, helping you feel more informed, more comfortable, and more confident in the care you’re receiving.

Frequently asked questions

What if I don’t know what to ask my therapist?
That’s common. You can say you’re not sure what to ask, and your therapist can help guide the conversation.

Is it okay to write questions down before therapy?
Yes. Written or typed notes are completely acceptable and commonly used in therapy.

What if I feel nervous asking certain questions?
That’s normal. You can start with smaller questions or share that you’re feeling unsure.

Can I change therapists if it doesn’t feel like a good fit?
Yes. Changing therapists is an option if the relationship doesn’t feel supportive.

Do I need to ask all of these questions at once?
No. You can ask questions over time as they come up.