When To Change Therapists

Therapy requires a profound act of vulnerability: handing over your darkest fears and highest hopes to a stranger in exchange for guidance. But when that sacred space turns into a source of anxiety—where you find yourself performing wellness rather than experiencing it, or editing your thoughts to appease the person sitting across from you—the healing stops.

This is why Esther Perel, renowned author and psychotherapist, emphasizes that the bond isn't just a bonus, but the foundation: "At the heart of therapy lies the relationship between the patient and the therapist, hence finding the right fit is key... It’s healthy to evaluate your therapeutic relationship, and a good therapist will welcome a conversation about any concerns."

You should change therapists when the safety of the relationship fractures, when your growth hits an indefinite plateau, or when you simply feel chronically misunderstood. Because the therapeutic alliance is backed by robust research as the heartbeat of recovery, walking away from the wrong fit isn’t a sign of failure. It’s an act of self-preservation and a strategic pivot toward the help you actually deserve.

Six key signs you should switch therapists

If you are questioning the effectiveness of your treatment, evaluate your current situation against these six indicators of a poor therapeutic fit.

6. You are experiencing a "clinical plateau"

While therapy often involves natural periods of stabilization, ineffective treatment is distinct from a normal plateau. If you have consistently attended sessions and completed "homework" for 3–6 months yet see no reduction in symptoms or behavioral change, the current treatment plan may be failing. 

Staying in a stagnant dynamic when you are putting in the effort suggests the specific modality (e.g., CBT vs. Psychodynamic) may not be effective for your diagnosis, and finding a different therapist with a different specialty may be warranted.

5. The therapeutic alliance is weak or ruptured

The therapeutic alliance—that sacred bond of trust and rapport between client and provider—is the engine behind effective therapy. If you feel judged, dismissed, or unsafe sharing vulnerable details, your brain remains in a defensive state, inhibiting the deep cognitive processing required for healing. 

When you find yourself withholding information due to a lack of trust, the therapy is functionally broken, and finding a provider who offers true psychological safety becomes a medical necessity.

4. Lack of cultural competence or understanding

Effective therapy requires a provider who grasps your "lived experience" without needing constant education. If you find yourself spending valuable session time explaining your identity, cultural background, or values rather than working on your mental health, there is a competence gap. 

You deserve a therapist who practices cultural humility or shares specific demographics to ensure you are validated and understood, rather than risking misdiagnosis due to cultural bias.

3. Financial strain or lack of insurance incompatibility

Therapy is meant to reduce stress, not create financial distress. If the cost of sessions forces you to reduce frequency below clinical recommendations—such as attending once a month when weekly support is needed—the treatment loses its efficacy. 

In this case, switching to a provider who is in-network with your insurance or offers a sustainable sliding scale is a practical decision to ensure you get the consistent care you need.

2. You have outgrown the relationship

Leaving a therapist can actually be a sign of success. You may have resolved the acute crisis that originally brought you to therapy, but now wish to address deeper trauma or different life goals. 

If you are ready to move from general counseling to specialized work that your current provider does not offer—such as EMDR for trauma or dedicated couples therapy—transitioning is a positive step in your continued evolution.

1. Ethical red flags and boundary violations

Ethical violations are immediate grounds for termination. If a therapist makes inappropriate comments, initiates non-professional contact, or breaches confidentiality, they have violated the core safety of the profession. 

In these instances, you should end the relationship immediately and, depending on the severity, consider contacting your state licensing board to file a formal complaint.

How to change therapists

Follow this workflow to ensure continuity of care and a smooth transition.

1. Conduct a "termination session" (optional but recommended)

Unless there is a safety concern, tell your current therapist you are leaving. These practices assertive communication and provide closure.

• "I’ve appreciated our time, but I feel I need a different approach to reach my next set of goals. I’d like to wrap up our work."

2. Define your clinical criteria

Before searching, list your non-negotiables to avoid repeating the mismatch.

• Modality: Do you need CBT, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, or something else?
• Logistics: Online vs. In-person? Weekend availability?
• Identity: Do you require a therapist with specific cultural or gender competencies?

3. Verify insurance and costs

Contact your insurance provider to clarify coverage for a new provider. Find your deductible for outpatient mental health and actively search for an in-network provider.

4. Start the search

Ask your primary care provider or a trusted friend, or visit an online directory to find a new provider.

5. Treat the first session as an interview

The first session, also called an intake appointment, is an assessment of fit. You are meeting the provider to assess whether they are a good fit, just as a provider would do the same for each potential client. 

Clearly state what didn't work with your previous therapist, and establish what you need from the relationship (e.g., "I need you to challenge me," or "I need a space just to listen").

Building a strong therapeutic alliance with a new provider

Starting over requires patience. It typically takes 3–5 sessions to establish a baseline of trust. During that time:

• Practice radical honesty: Be transparent about why you left your last therapist. This gives your new provider a roadmap of what to avoid.
• Respect the "rapport building" phase: Vulnerability takes time. It’s normal to feel guarded initially.
• Periodic re-evaluation: Use specific checkpoints to assess if this new relationship is helping you meet your mental health goals.

Frequently asked questions (FAQ)

Is it normal to switch therapists?

Yes, switching therapists is a common part of the mental health journey. Needs change over time, and finding the right "fit" is essential for effective treatment. You are not required to stay with a provider if you aren't seeing results.

Will I have to start over completely with a new therapist?

Not necessarily. You can sign a release form to have your previous therapist share their notes and treatment history with your new provider. This "continuity of care" helps the new therapist understand your background quickly without you having to repeat every detail.

How do I tell my therapist I want to stop seeing them?

It is best to be direct but polite. You can say, "I feel I’ve made as much progress as I can with our current approach and would like to try a different direction." Most therapists are trained to handle this professionally and may even offer referrals.

How long does it take to get used to a new therapist?

Building a new therapeutic alliance typically takes time. Expect to spend the first few sessions (often 3–5) building rapport and trust before diving into deep clinical work.