A Practical Guide: How to Make Friends in Retirement

What does it actually take to make friends in retirement? No matter when you retired, meeting new people can still feel unfamiliar, especially if your routine or relationships have changed over time. If you're feeling disconnected, anxious, or unsure how to start connecting with others, you're not alone.

Making new friends as an adult can feel awkward, especially after a major life transition, such as retirement. When work and parenting roles evolve or change, your daily routine also changes. Research shows that staying socially active in later years is strongly linked to improved physical health, social well-being, and psychological well-being, as well as a longer lifespan. With that in mind, retirement can be an ideal time to expand your social circle and reimagine how friendships fit into your life.

Putting yourself out there might feel uncomfortable at first, but small, consistent steps can lead to lasting relationships. This guide will teach you realistic, actionable ways to build meaningful connections and how to make new friends in retirement. 

Why making friends in retirement feels different

Loneliness is a common experience associated with growing older. A 2018 AARP survey found that 35% of people aged 45 and older considered themselves lonely. While that number remained steady from 2010, population growth means nearly 48 million people now identify as lonely. For many, it’s not fleeting—41% had felt isolated for six years or more.

There’s no substitute for genuine companionship. As we age, our social circles shrink. Friends move, routines shift, and health challenges can make it harder to stay connected. Retirement can amplify that disconnection, especially when daily structure and workplace relationships fade away. Social isolation doesn’t just affect mood; it may also increase the risk of cognitive decline.

It’s also common to assume others already have whole social lives. That assumption can keep us from reaching out, even though most people still crave connection and are open to it when someone else takes the first step.

Grief, caregiving, or health changes can make it harder to socialize. But they can also deepen your appreciation for connection and the friendships that endure. As your daily structure shifts, there are fewer built-in opportunities to interact with new people. Many people experience a drop in social engagement during the transition to retirement, which can contribute to prolonged feelings of isolation.

It’s also common to assume that others already have established social circles. This can make it harder to initiate a new friendship. But most people still crave connection and are often open to it when someone else takes the first step.

How to stay connected after you retire

If you’re wondering what to do when you retire to stay active and connected, nurturing your social life is one of the most rewarding places to start.

In a study by the University of Michigan’s National Poll on Healthy Aging, 90% of people age 50 and older reported having at least one close friend; 48% had one to three, and 42% had four or more. Just 10% said they didn’t have any. Chances are, you're reaching out to people who would welcome the connection just as much as you.

You don’t always have to start from scratch. One of the easiest ways to foster connection is by reconnecting with people you already know. Reach out to former coworkers, neighbors, or old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while. A text message or phone call can rekindle a past friendship. Start with something simple, like reaching out to ask someone for a cup of coffee or a phone call. Small gestures like that often open the door to renewed connection.

Technology can also help bridge the gap. Social media, email, and messaging apps make it easier to stay in touch, especially when mobility or distance is a barrier. If you’re comfortable online, you can explore interest-based forums or attend virtual events that align with your hobbies. This kind of digital connection can be a low-pressure way to meet new people from anywhere.

Habits that help you build new friendships

Making new friends doesn’t have to be complicated. The key is creating small habits that keep you socially active over time. These regular efforts develop trust and familiarity. Here are some small habits that can help you build and grow new friendships: 

• Join a recurring event, like a walking group, art class, or book club (see the list below for more ideas). Familiar faces help new friendships form naturally.
• Reach out once a week to someone: an acquaintance, a neighbor, a new contact.
• Say yes to invitations when possible. Attending a few social events makes a difference.
• Be curious. Ask thoughtful questions, follow up on things people have shared, and listen closely.
• Find a routine anchor. A recurring meet-up, like a community coffee morning or library visit, can ground your week and grow new connections.

Small behavioral changes can ease loneliness, expand your network, and support your mental sharpness and overall mood. You might also explore senior wellness programs offered by local community centers for more structured opportunities to connect.

Where to meet people in retirement

Your local community likely offers a variety of senior activities that can help you meet people your age who are also looking for connection. Try these:

1. Clubs for retirees: Many towns offer hobby-specific clubs—like photography, birdwatching, or writing—designed with retirees in mind.
2. Faith communities: Religious organizations often hold discussion groups, potlucks, or volunteer opportunities.
3. Volunteering: Getting involved with a cause you care about is a great way to meet others. Local community service boards can help you find opportunities that match your interests.
4. Senior support groups: Whether focused on caregiving, grief, or shared experiences, these groups foster trust and connection.
5. Continuing education: Community colleges and local organizations often offer lifelong learning classes.
6. Senior meetups: Libraries, parks departments, and nonprofits host events for older adults.
7. Fitness groups: Senior dance classes, walking clubs, or water aerobics classes offer movement and connection.

If you’re unsure where to start, check local bulletin boards or online directories like Meetup or Facebook groups for your area.

When it feels hard to connect

If you're feeling disconnected, anxious, or unsure how to start forming new relationships, you're not alone. The transition to retirement is a significant life change that can bring unexpected emotional hurdles. A mental health provider can help you work through feelings of isolation, rebuild confidence in social situations, and support you as you adjust to new roles and routines.

Friendship takes time, but it’s worth the effort. Small gestures like joining a group, saying hello to a neighbor, or sending a message can lead to meaningful connections. Taking that first step can feel difficult, but connection is possible at any stage of life.

If you're feeling lonely or overwhelmed, support is available. SonderMind makes it easier to find a therapist who’s right for you and start getting care from home. Start today and take one small step toward feeling more connected.